Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im holly from the hills drunk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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