i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
