I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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