I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im six kinds of drunk right now
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
