On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
