how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize