I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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