Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
