they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
