so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
