I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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