Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
