theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
