they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
