ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
