to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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