the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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