hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize