I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
