also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
