Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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