Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
