Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
