He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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