i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
