the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
