In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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