Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
