Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
