he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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