it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
