He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
