Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
