honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
