Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
