Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
