you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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