Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
