Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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