I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
