At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
