WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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