its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish you could order shots online.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
