So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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