I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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