I accidentally burped into my bong.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
