He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
