I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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