We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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