I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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