FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
