There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
