Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
