He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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