yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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