I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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